How To Be Bully Proof

How to Be Free of Bullies

The Release Valve Theory continued and how it related to me

This is the moment when I discovered my ‘release valve’ theory. The release valve is, in my thinking, when someone learns from an early age to try to release tension from a room, which sets them up to be bullied more often than the average person. My idea is that a recognised, learned behaviour can be unlearned to allow someone to become ‘bully-proof’.

In a job I was in where I got bullied, I noticed the following patterns:

  • There was tension already in the office when I walked in and it felt uncomfortable.
  • I got really awkward and seemed to say or do things that made me think ‘why did I do that?’ straight afterwards.
  • What I said or did were immediately picked up and commented on and the tension in the room disappeared. Actually, all the tension flowed towards me instead, making it more difficult for me to speak or move freely. The cycle of reactions between my work colleagues and myself continued.

What did I learn from this?

  • That it all started because of tension in the room. It was a publishing company and everyone was stressed to meet deadlines or targets and the new boss was putting pressure on people.
  • I subconsciously picked up on the tension, wanted it gone and used a learned behaviour to make myself the sacrificial offering or scapegoat to facilitate an end to the tension.
  • It worked. My work colleagues now had me to use to relieve their stress.

I didn’t know that subconsciously I disliked tension in the air so much that I would lend myself as an emotional punch-bag. However, by observing the dynamic in the room and the same pattern occur a few times, I could see that what I was doing was creating the dynamic and therefore setting myself up to be victimised.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

Gravatar
WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. ( Log Out /  Change )

Cancel

Connecting to %s

Information

This entry was posted on March 17, 2014 by in Be Bully Proof, Role Power Bullying by an Authority and tagged , , , , , , , , .

Shortlink

https://wp.me/p4kSkb-3O

Navigation

Recent Posts: Dairy of A Nonny Moose

How Micronutrients Get More Important With Age

How Micronutrients Get More Important With Age

Do you remember feeling sick on family holiday holidays as a child? Were you cautious about the milk in France or Spain? Did it taste funny? Did you have a constantly runny nose throughout your school days? Today, one-size-fits-all diet advice is causing a huge amount of chaos. People of all different sizes, ages, women […]

Why Ideology is Like a Virus and Needs Community Leadership to Oppose

Like a virus, the spread of ideology relies on transmission among the community. Society is made up of various groups and has been since the dawn of time. We have a minority of thought leaders known as innovators and they are followed by Early Adopters. Trumpism and Brexit, like Nazi Germany, have relied on the […]

Had UK Government Put Public Interests First, Might We Have Averted Disaster

Had UK Government Put Public Interests First, Might We Have Averted Disaster

Boris Johnson’s Government’s focus seems to have been on big corporation interests from the start of the COVID-19 outbreak, thinking they could “flatten the curve” after contact tracing and quarantining had been dropped. After John Newton predicted a million cases, the government abandoned its contact tracing in favour of a 3-4 month national lockdown. Could […]

Creativity Will Always Be Important for Humanity

I’ve felt for years the western world, particularly, is making it increasingly difficult for visual thinkers to survive. Creative people tend to be solution finders, problem solvers, thinkers, observers, investigators and inventors. This might mean that creative people design their own processes into their work. Therefore following a new unfamiliar process on its own is […]

Voyage of Discovery about Nutrition

Almost finished Tim Spector’s book Spoonfed, which is a detailed overview of human nutrition from a GP and nutritional scientist’s perspective. If only every GP needed to study nutrition as Tim Spector has. Spector’s book demystifies every area of the modern diet from gluten, animal and plant protein, gluten, fibre, caffeine, alcohol, water and shows […]

Create a free website or blog at WordPress.com.

%d bloggers like this: