How To Be Bully Proof

How to Be Free of Bullies

The Release Valve Theory continued and how it related to me

This is the moment when I discovered my ‘release valve’ theory. The release valve is, in my thinking, when someone learns from an early age to try to release tension from a room, which sets them up to be bullied more often than the average person. My idea is that a recognised, learned behaviour can be unlearned to allow someone to become ‘bully-proof’.

In a job I was in where I got bullied, I noticed the following patterns:

  • There was tension already in the office when I walked in and it felt uncomfortable.
  • I got really awkward and seemed to say or do things that made me think ‘why did I do that?’ straight afterwards.
  • What I said or did were immediately picked up and commented on and the tension in the room disappeared. Actually, all the tension flowed towards me instead, making it more difficult for me to speak or move freely. The cycle of reactions between my work colleagues and myself continued.

What did I learn from this?

  • That it all started because of tension in the room. It was a publishing company and everyone was stressed to meet deadlines or targets and the new boss was putting pressure on people.
  • I subconsciously picked up on the tension, wanted it gone and used a learned behaviour to make myself the sacrificial offering or scapegoat to facilitate an end to the tension.
  • It worked. My work colleagues now had me to use to relieve their stress.

I didn’t know that subconsciously I disliked tension in the air so much that I would lend myself as an emotional punch-bag. However, by observing the dynamic in the room and the same pattern occur a few times, I could see that what I was doing was creating the dynamic and therefore setting myself up to be victimised.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Recent Posts: Dairy of A Nonny Moose

Keeping Our Immunity Healthy, Resisting Age-Related Weakness and Preventing Virus Spread

Keeping Our Immunity Healthy, Resisting Age-Related Weakness and Preventing Virus Spread

While researching for my healthy eating reference app, I’ve found how our immune systems can get out of whack from breaking daily activity routines (e.g. not going out to work), convalescence, being restricted to an hour outside a day, which is particularly tough on people with social anxiety. No information is provided about all the […]

How Do We Protect Ourselves and Recover from Pandemic? A Wider Look at COVID-19

How Do We Protect Ourselves and Recover from Pandemic? A Wider Look at COVID-19

For those who have not had covid and had both jabs early on, protection drops to 16% which is why boosters are being prepared. Those who have had covid, you could be protected up to 2 or 3 years as with other coronaviruses. The medical press has had plenty to say about everything going on […]

Why We Must Stay Objective and the Difference Between Faith and Belief

Why We Must Stay Objective and the Difference Between Faith and Belief

I have found it increasingly difficult to have in depth conversations with people as it seems as if their mind is made up on many topics, which brings to mind the Arctic Monkey’s song A Certain Romance: “They’ll never listenBecause their minds are made up” (Artic Monkeys – A Certain Romance) What is the difference […]

How We Can Protect Health and Environment in One Go

How We Can Protect Health and Environment in One Go

Recently, people have asked on social media if we ought to have lockdowns for the environment. I can see why: reports showed that carbon emissions in the UK fell by a third as a result of quarantining us all against COVID-19. However, we need to look at the impact of any measures on a wider […]

A Coronavirus Is a Coronavirus Is a Coronavirus – What’s New?

A Coronavirus Is a Coronavirus Is a Coronavirus – What’s New?

We have heard a few times before in the medical and national press about a new or novel coronavirus transmitting in the UK. However, in 2013, various reports caused little more than a ripple. Public Health England called it a non-event. It didn’t seem to matter to the medical profession before late 2019, if your […]

%d bloggers like this: