How To Be Bully Proof

How to Be Free of Bullies

The Release Valve Theory continued and how it related to me

This is the moment when I discovered my ‘release valve’ theory. The release valve is, in my thinking, when someone learns from an early age to try to release tension from a room, which sets them up to be bullied more often than the average person. My idea is that a recognised, learned behaviour can be unlearned to allow someone to become ‘bully-proof’.

In a job I was in where I got bullied, I noticed the following patterns:

  • There was tension already in the office when I walked in and it felt uncomfortable.
  • I got really awkward and seemed to say or do things that made me think ‘why did I do that?’ straight afterwards.
  • What I said or did were immediately picked up and commented on and the tension in the room disappeared. Actually, all the tension flowed towards me instead, making it more difficult for me to speak or move freely. The cycle of reactions between my work colleagues and myself continued.

What did I learn from this?

  • That it all started because of tension in the room. It was a publishing company and everyone was stressed to meet deadlines or targets and the new boss was putting pressure on people.
  • I subconsciously picked up on the tension, wanted it gone and used a learned behaviour to make myself the sacrificial offering or scapegoat to facilitate an end to the tension.
  • It worked. My work colleagues now had me to use to relieve their stress.

I didn’t know that subconsciously I disliked tension in the air so much that I would lend myself as an emotional punch-bag. However, by observing the dynamic in the room and the same pattern occur a few times, I could see that what I was doing was creating the dynamic and therefore setting myself up to be victimised.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Recent Posts: Dairy of A Nonny Moose

Bullies Always Count on a Target’s Predictability

Originally posted on Chateau Cherie:
Chess board and text “Strategic plan” Business planning concept Being unpredictable can be your best weapon against bullies. Anytime you are predictable in a climate of bullying, you’re a sitting duck. Bullies will soon know what gets you upset, what will get you to fly off the handle and do…

Some COVID-19 Silver Linings – Past, Present and Possible

Some COVID-19 Silver Linings – Past, Present and Possible

The pandemic has stopped humanity in its tracks. City streets are deserted and even politicians are reaching for experts to guide us. The world is talking and ordinary people’s voices are being heard. Creativity and resilience are increasing and people are caring for vulnerable citizens like never before. Governments and companies have to be accountable and key workers are being valued over sports stars. Rich people are not immune. Everyone is in this together. We have to get our priorities straight right now and maybe for good.

Why Profits are Put Before Public Health – and it’s Getting Dangerous

Further back in time, women were healers, often using herbs and natural medicines. When we think of Medieval people today, the most likely picture in our minds is of of people carrying out old wives’ tales (maybe that was a slur to discredit such women healers) or biding by religious superstitions. Men have dominated politics, […]

Why Boosting your Media Profile While Ignoring Your Opposition Helps Win Elections

Why Boosting your Media Profile While Ignoring Your Opposition Helps Win Elections

The biggest area in which political elections are fought has to be the media. There is plenty of evidence for this. Not least, we ought to look at the relationship between the party that wins and the column inches, headlines and photographs of their representations in the media. Speaking as a journalist since 1985, we […]

Links to articles to meet voter concerns – Income, taxation, nationalisation through to Boris’ comments about women and other demographics

I think most people pride themselves on their intelligence, even if secretly, and their ability to think for themselves. Here are some links to counter concerns from voters. Fact checking – the BBC RESPONDS HERE TO TORY CLAIMS HAVING NOT SEEN LABOUR MANIFESTO Responding to the opposition The Guardian – say Labour ought to fight […]

%d bloggers like this: