How to Not Let Bullies Get What They Want
Here are books I read in run up and while writing Bully-proof
As you can see if you have or are going to read any of these, they all raise awareness about the motivation of a bully, offer ways to defend yourself and don’t waste time working out who’s to blame. Bullying comes from a bully but everyone who gets bullied can be a bully too (even if only to a chair) and so the focus of my book and story is on how to break out of the bullying cycle so bullies can’t get at you.
How to Make Friends and Influence People
The author has written many spin-off titles such as How To Stop Worrying and Start Living. Dale Carnegie heads straight for desirable characteristics for ambitious people in adult life. These characteristics possess a positive spin on recovery from being bullied and could help someone who has been a bully. Research in the USA has revealed than many successful people have been bullied. It won’t be long before overcoming bullying will be a well-recognised skill for business.
Nasty People: How To Stop Being Hurt By Them Without Stooping To Their Level
The author is a doctor of psychology and has written spin-off titles such as Nasty Men, Nasty Women and Nasty Bosses. This book is about how to handle people, although ‘not stooping to their level’ sounds like another myth like ‘telling’. It seems these books still do well but may have a limited shelf life as new forms of narrative non-fiction books are written from experience, rather than clinical expertise.
Queen Bees And Wannabees
First published in 2003, this book was adapted into the hit film Mean Girls. It is a misery memoir taken from the author’s own experiences and she goes on to write Mean Girls Grown Up to show the fates that await female bullies later in life. The original book has been reproduced with variants to the title, mainly speaking to mothers about how to guide their daughters through the tricky ride of adolescence.
This book approaches from various bases in the bullying story, encouraging the reader to take actions including standing up for friends when they’ve learned how to stand up for themselves. There is a spin-off ‘journal’ with the same cover image. This book takes an optimistic approach to its readers’ natures, speaking to them as leaders not losers. At only 59 pages, the author gets straight to the point.
Please Stop Laughing At Me…One Woman’s Inspirational Story
This book comes in three versions written from the author’s own personal experiences. Her first book is her quest to stamp out school bullying and there is also a journal, each with a similar front cover picture and small variations to the title. The author shares her experiences so readers can recognise bullying behaviour and see what responses were most effective. The reviewers were disappointed with this book after her first book Please Stop Laughing At Us in which the author tries to tackle school bullying.
The Bully In Your Relationship: Stop Emotional Abuse And Get The Love You Deserve
This book talks to an adult reader to help them see past bullies to a life they deserve, reminding them to ensure they are loved in their relationship. By focusing on bullying in so-called caring relationships, the author reveals what bullying is and shows the reader how to not be a victim, so that the relationship can improve or ended.
Water Off A Duck’s Back: How To Deal With Frustrating Situations, Awkward, Exasperating Or Manipulative People, And Keep Smiling
This book is about bullying for adults who don’t want to admit they are being bullied. With a chirpy cover and the sub-title in small print, it tells the reader how to deal with various behaviours. It would be ideal if it showed readers how to let bullying wash off them like ‘water off a duck’s back’. Ideally, I would have used the main title, if it hadn’t been taken, with the sub-title I am using. This book doesn’t seem to encourage readers to look at themselves or the role they play in their relationships.
Dare To Connect: How To Create Confidence, Trust And Loving Relationships
Susan Jeffrers wrote the famous Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway and in this book she tackles some of the symptoms that can come from being bullied. In Self-Help books, readers seem to like books that tackle the symptoms of their problems rather than prevent these issues in the first place. This book was reissued 9 years after it was first published so it suits its audience well. An approach from a positive angle works, however, bullying sits in the background, even though it isn’t named. Without bullying in relationships being acknowledged, the unique role that the victim plays is not addressed.
Adult Bullying: Perpetrators And Victims
This is one of few books about adult bullying. I chose it as it focuses on both the bully and the bullied. The author is a psychologist, hence the price point of this book, so this is more a reference than a self-help book. The impression this book gives is that it reveals new, tantalising and progressive ideas about bullying. The UK Amazon rank shows there is an audience for this book. The title suggests new, updated ideas about bullying that can open the doors to books for consumers that reflect similar ideas.
The Bullies – Understanding Bullies And Bullying
This book talks to a parent audience about school bullying. The title indicates the approach, to understand the human nature behind bullying so the reader can recognise and respond to it in a more effectively. The focus is on the bully. The author, a counsellor, listens to bullies without judgment so readers can see what drives their behaviour. This makes an excellent reference for people with a deeper interest in the subject, as it documents the bullies point of view.
Bullied: A Survivor’s Handbook For People Affected By Domestic Violence, School Bullying And Work Place Bullying
This book spreads its focus to include the various places where bullying is known to take place. As a survivor’s handbook, it includes the author’s personal insights and looks at the on-going effects on people who often find themselves being bullied. I included this book because it shows that bullying can recur after school and at home and that derogatory behaviours in different places and at all stages of life are all bullying. This helps us get a wider definition of bullying so we can understand how widespread it is and what many forms it takes.
Bullies, Bigmouths And So-Called Friends
The title gets to the point succinctly and it speaks straight to the reader about how to tell bullies in their various guises and how to deal with them. This book is for young people but is equally readable for an adult as these types of people are just as prevalent in the office as in the school playground.
Rising Above Bullying: From Despair To Recovery
Rosemary Hayes And Carrie Herbert
Rosemary Hayes is a children’s author and this book focuses on childhood bullying. Hayes also runs creative writing workshops, but this book doesn’t talk to the person who is being bullied and aims to increase an adult’s ability to recognise bullying and the effect it has on children. This book is introduced with the effects that bullying can have on children and focuses on how the victim can avoid being bullied, as in my approach.
Don’t Pick On Me: How To Handle Bullying
This book does what it says in the sub-title and was reprinted last year with a new cover. I enjoyed this book as the author reveals unexpected forms of bullying and empowers the reader with ways to deal with them, revealing key characteristics of bullying. The author is a psychotherapist and the tone is advisory, although she says her professional work was inspired by personal experience.
The Bully-Go-Round In our society, where emerging technologies unite us in new ways, bullying is reaching epidemic proportions. “The Bully-Go-Round” provides strategies for a better understanding of all aspects of bullying from the perspective of the bully, the bullied, and the bystander.
Beat The Bully: A Guide To Dealing With Adult Bullying