How to Not Let Bullies Get What They Want
One of my main points is that certain people have a propensity to be bullied. If you look at the Release Valve Theory at the beginning of this book, you will see that being bullied often is a kind of learned behaviour, developed to remove tension from a room, even possibly before the person has learned to speak!
It is my belief in writing this, as I am a recovered one myself, that if a high-risk bullying target can learn to not be bullied as I did, then the sting of bullying can be greatly reduced. I think these techniques could have a very positive ripple effect.
This is how I think the bottom-feeder level of communication can be raised off the sea-bed:
– If more is revealed and observed about bullying it would put more power in the hands of people who are bullied to find easy ways to stand-up for themselves.
– The focus for schools and organisations that tackle bullying would be on illustrating to people how powerless bullies are as a breed, instead of pointing the finger at people who probably get bullied themselves and therefore losing both their audiences. This book aims to help bullies as much as people who seem to be a permanent target for bullies.
– People learn that to be a victim means you are powerless which is untrue. Being a victim is simply being irresponsible and blaming everyone and everything outside yourself for things that go wrong. If people learn not to be a victim for bullies and some useful replies and responses to bullies started to spread around (virally, in meme form, etc) then bullying would start to shrivel like a cancer cell beamed with oxygen.
– Learning not to be bullied is much more important than trying to stop bullying. Bullying is an anciently seated part of human survival behaviour. Trying to stop it is like trying to blow clouds from Cornwall to Africa. The approach required is to give people fishing rods, not fish. Anti-bullying initiatives will change from scolding the bullies to teaching everyone the skills to defend themselves from bullying.
– People will realise that any form of negative or unpleasant behaviour towards them is bullying and by identifying bullying in its simplest form, is to stop it dead in its tracks, very quickly and easily.
– Bullies themselves would be forced to raise their style of social interaction off the ocean floor and learn more efficient and positive ways to get their needs met.