How to Not Let Bullies Get What They Want
One of the worst effects of bullying is that you can end up believing what the bullies say. This is purely because, through the scatter gun approach, the bully has uncovered issues that you are sensitive about.
Here’s a scene to illustrate Scatter Gun Approach:
– ‘Your legs are fat?’
– ‘OK, your mum’s a bitch!
– You’re ugly.
– So are you.
– I bet you can smell what they’re cooking in the canteen 5 blocks away.’
– You saying my nose is big?
– How dare you?
As well as the lowest form of communication, bullying can be the most impotent of actions.
Take tailgating, or following too closely, the car in front for example. The impatient driver behind thinks they want to get to their destination faster so they let their car engine sniff the rear bumper of the car in front and what happens? The person puts on their breaks and goes slower. That is a reaction and the driver who drives up other car’s backsides has then found a driver to bully as sending another person wild with annoyance is much more fun than speeding.
Bullying is about power and control. The bully needs to feel power and control. It is not personal, so it isn’t that they want more power and control over a specific person (try getting power and control over a bedside table. Will keep you busy for hours) but the more powerful or in control the target seems, the more power and control the bully will feel by dominating them. (Hence my continual campaign on inanimate objects). This is the same, but different, as someone who gives in easily to a bullies need for power and control. Like a salesman, a bully needs as many different clients as he can get: the easy hit all the way through to the hard-won, challenging conquest, maybe someone in a higher position who took ages to crumble. The bully got there in the end though. Victory!