How to Not Let Bullies Get What They Want
There is a very simple thread to the theory I am using to define bullying. Bullying is one specific behaviour, whatever scale it happens on or in whichever style it is delivered. All acts of bullying share some simple characteristics. My job here is to define those characteristics to guide you in this book’s most crucial task, which is so you can learn to identify when you are being bullied.
I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again, as you might not believe me. Bullying is not personal. It has the pernicious ability to seem to be very personal, as the bully requires a scapegoat and therefore has become adept at one thing only: to identify what someone is sensitive about. The only way they find these sensitive issues is by using the scatter gun approach. There is nothing too sophisticated in a bully’s research methods. The lines of attack are dictated by the sensitivities of the receiver, not by the opinions of the deliverer. Jealousy often plays a part in the motivation for someone to bully another person.
People say sarcasm is the lowest form of wit. I say bullying is the lowest form of communication. In my book (this one) bullying falls below pulling faces in the communication leader board. It can be easier to recognise characteristics in other people when they exist in ourselves. Everyone who gets bullied will display bullying behaviour. I would give inanimate objects a very hard time when I was younger. If I had thought about how unpleasant I was being to a table or a door frame that had just jumped out at me and bruised my arm, I might have been able to tell when people were being unpleasant to me.