How To Be Bully Proof

How to Be Free of Bullies

Release valve theory

In this chapter I am going to present what I think is the root cause of bullying. It is a learned behaviour which a child picks up very young that can stay unseen below the surface throughout someone’s life and the person might never know this learned behaviour is the very reason they get bullied by everyone. This learned behaviour, I think, has far reaching, devastating consequences, particularly because it is learned in a person so young that it is unlikely they would have any recollection of the first time they displayed the behaviour. It is a response to something happening within a toddler’s environment that they are instinctively trying to change or sort out before they have the power of speech.

Here is a scene to depict my theory. Little Burt hears raised voices in the living room and toddles through to see his parents arguing. (If you are a parent and are thinking ‘oh so arguing with my partner is the cause of all my children’s problems is it?’ get over yourself!). Burt feels tension in the room and wants to dissipate it. Therefore he does a silly little dance, knocks something off a table or perhaps relieves himself on the floor. If the arguing parents are distracted by Little Burt, which would probably happen, they could well still be angry but distracted by the pool of pee on the carpet, broken ornament or to attend to the child’s needs. The tension between the two people will be dispersed and the child will have learned how to remove tension.

This is what I call the release valve theory and I thought this up when I was being bullied in the office I worked in, in 2006. Ironically, although perhaps typically if you consider what I was saying about the power of language earlier, I was working on careers magazines for disabled graduates and I had just discovered I had Dyspraxia with maybe Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder or maybe a bit of Aspergers. Then I found I was being bullied about it or certainly the way I was being treated and spoken to was not very pleasant.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Recent Posts: Dairy of A Nonny Moose

Last Throes of a Pandemic?

This is conjecture and an exploration, not even opinion yet. Like many of us, I have so many questions but there do not seem to be many people able or available to answer. How can such a massive campaign be launched to vaccinate people against COVID-19 without information, which allows each person to do what […]

How Minds are Captured by Corporate Hype and How to Free Ourselves

How Minds are Captured by Corporate Hype and How to Free Ourselves

This is just a view, drawn from my angle on life. I doubt and question every opinion and conclusion I draw, to find out if there is something I haven’t seen. It is always inspiring to hear a different angle on something, which widens my perspective. A few months ago, I was chatting to the […]

How can we choose the best packaging and transport for our purchases?

How can we choose the best packaging and transport for our purchases?

Sally can barely see over the top of a hefty paper bag full of shopping because she is carrying it from the base. It is rush hour and people walk swiftly in the opposite direction, which turns taking groceries home into a high-stakes survival game. It starts to rain. While concentrating on navigating the tide […]

Keeping Our Immunity Healthy, Resisting Age-Related Weakness and Preventing Virus Spread

Keeping Our Immunity Healthy, Resisting Age-Related Weakness and Preventing Virus Spread

While researching for my healthy eating reference app, I’ve found how our immune systems can get out of whack from breaking daily activity routines (e.g. not going out to work), convalescence, being restricted to an hour outside a day, which is particularly tough on people with social anxiety. No information is provided about all the […]

How Do We Protect Ourselves and Recover from Pandemic? A Wider Look at COVID-19

How Do We Protect Ourselves and Recover from Pandemic? A Wider Look at COVID-19

For those who have not had covid and had both jabs early on, protection drops to 16% which is why boosters are being prepared. Those who have had covid, you could be protected up to 2 or 3 years as with other coronaviruses. The medical press has had plenty to say about everything going on […]

%d bloggers like this: